Updated: Dec 3, 2020

I’ve missed this just me, a stream of consciousness and a blank page. I don’t know what I want to say yet. But I know there’s something. I’ve had the feeling for a few days now. I think its because I’m having to write a lot for school, and I HATE IT because it’s not me. I don’t have any real interest or anything to say I’m just being made to regurgitate meaningless information for exams. I think that’s why I go through periods of falling out of love with writing because then it becomes an association with obligation and not a willingful choice.

The other day, I was looking through fonts to make notes in when I noticed Times New Roman. I have a lot of repressed memories from my childhood through no fault of anyone but still it exists. I digress, when I clicked on the font it brought back a memory.

When I was in P3/ P4 I got my first mini laptop/ word processer to help me in class and I was so excited. For once, I actually felt special in a positive way because it felt like I got a present and I knew it was only for me. The default font on that little word processor was Times New Roman. So, when I remembered what that font meant I had a moment of genuine joy because it reminded me of how I fell in love with writing. I can still remember the first time a teacher recognised my writing.

We had to make up a story on fairies in our creative writing hour and little Hannah was in her element because she was obsessed with fairies and magic give anything imaginative and fictional and I was into it.

Whilst everyone else moaned and struggled I quietly tapped away in the corner; some would say I was away with the fairies.

When time was up the teacher came round and checked on us all and she liked what I had done. (All I did was make my cousins fairies and gave them powers I thought suited them)

Nothing ground-breaking but it was good in the moment.

She gathered kids round her in a circle and hushed them and them said I want everyone to listen to what Hannah’s’ done.

That was the first time I consciously realised I loved to write and got praised for doing it.

I have since discovered that the reason I love writing is because it gives people the chance to hear what I have to say without any preconceptions about me and my disability getting in the way.

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